Reported by The Hobgoblin
Twelve-year-olds everywhere went wild on Monday 3rd October, when famous internet “personality” Dream finally revealed what his face looked like. Some people were shocked, many didn’t care. But one thing’s for sure: no one quite knows what all the fuss is about.
So who exactly is this “Dream” guy, anyway? One quick Google search and you’re taken to a bunch of pages about what people do when they sleep. Clearly, there’s more to discover. Searching for “Minecraft Dream”, as well as placing you on a government watchlist, brings up images of a green background with a badly-drawn smiley face:
Clearly, this just won’t do. Most normal people were perfectly happy watching Minecraft videos narrated by this faceless entity. Actually, that’s a lie. Most normal people weren’t wasting their time watching Minecraft videos. However, there was a small but vocal minority who were keen to see the man behind the mask.
Oh, that’s the other thing. As if this guy wasn’t weird enough just playing Minecraft all day for his 30 million YouTube subscribers, he also released a single simply entitled “Mask”. This debut release was – no joke – a song about how hiding your feelings will help you to have friends and be super cool.
But on to more exciting things. On Monday 3rd October, Dream released a video to his YouTube channel simply called hi, I’m Dream. [sic]. It started off with an image of the titular character sitting on a chair, facing away from the camera:
Many would agree that this was quite a dull way to begin a face reveal video. Plus, he’s used a selfie camera so all the writing’s flipped the wrong way. It’s as if he’s an idiot. However, as he turned around, the whole screen lit up as it was revealed that Dream was, in fact, the lovechild of Rumpelstiltskin from Shrek and disgraced internet star Shane Dawson:
And that’s literally it. It was super boring and overhyped. But now we know who Dream’s real parents are. Happy Minecrafting, everybody.
