By Luke Mills-Hicks.

Times Boris’s mouth got away from him

1. By far and away the most notable run away of Boris’ mouth was his address to the CBI (Confederation of British Industry) that spiralled into a ramble about Peppa pig world. On the 22nd November 2021 while addressing senior UK businessmen, Boris misplaced his notes and began to ramble about his trip to Peppa pig world over the weekend. This was not the end of it. Boris muttered “forgive me”, and “blast it” over and over under his breath. Boris proceeded to compound his political suicide by comparing his ten point environmental plan to the ten commandments, claiming that it was a “New decalogue that I produced exactly a year ago when I came down from Sinai”, this religious reference understandably upset many people.
2. Boris Johnson’s outburst in front of the London assembly is by far and away one of the most unforgettable moments of his curious career. The London Assembly aims to scrutinise the actions of the mayor of London. When Boris was the mayor of London in 2013, he was questioned by the assembly and responded by calling them “Great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies”. Though we will likely never understand what on earth Boris was on about, from the context we can infer that Boris was likely trying to call the Assembly cowards.
3. One of the job requirements of being prime minister is having to answer a huge amount of questions, though this did not seem to appeal to Boris. On the eve of the 2019 election, Boris Johnson was ambushed by Jonathan Swain, a reporter for Good Morning Britain, while he was visiting a milk producer in Yorkshire. The then PM snuck into an industrial sized fridge in the hopes of avoiding the interview. Jonathan Swain’s witty response to this was “It’s been a frosty reception here”.
4. One of Boris’ best low lights was when he stole the phone of an ITV reporter who was trying to show him an image of a four year old child who had to lie on the floor at a hospital after they ran out of beds. The four year old Jack Williment-Barr was suspected to have pneumonia and Boris refused to look at or talk about the issue. After Boris pocketed the reporters phone, he said that he would “Review it later”, to this the stunned ITV reporter replied , “you refuse to look at the photo, you’ve taken my phone and put it in your pocket.” After this Boris took the phone out, looked at the photo and then said “It’s a terrible, terrible photo.” He then returned the phone to the still shocked reporter, and apologized for taking it.
5. Last, but certainly not least, is Boris Johnson’s famous cocaine slip up. Boris stated that he had once ‘accidentally’ sneezed on cocaine, but that he had experienced no “pharmacological, psychotropical, or any other effect” after he had sneezed on the cocaine. Piers Morgan, who was conducting the interview then told Boris “I can’t imagine what you’d be like on cocaine, you’re hyper enough as it is.”  Boris went on to say that “There was a period before university where I had quite a few.” This statement was in reference to Morgan asking him about his previous cannabis use.

Though these five blunders are certainly impressive and place Boris in the running for the worst politician of all time. For many other politicians almost all of these mistakes would be political suicide, but somehow, Mr Johnson was able to worm his way out of his many and deep political graves.